Finding Ten
by twineweclipdawngirl
Summary: Natalie Eaton is the daughter of Beatrice Prior. She grew up with only her mother and grandparents in the faction of Abnegation, but she never belonged. When her aptitude test reveals she's Divergent, she understands why. Now, she must figure out where she should be, with her selfless mother or tracking down her Dauntless father, who doesn't know she exists?
1. Prologue

**I only own Tris and Tobias's unborn baby. An the story idea, I guess. Anyway this is if the war never happened.**

***Prologue**Tris's POV***

I sat on the bed, knees tucked up to my chin, alone in the apartment Tobias and I shared. Next to me, sitting on top on the crumpled sheets, was a bag filled with everything I owned worth taking. My jacket was zipped up, my boots laced all the way up. I was ready to leave, so why couldn't I move?

I had to go. I knew that perfectly well, and yet my legs wouldn't move as I stared at the door, wondering how long I could sit here before it was too late. Tobias would be home from work soon, and I had to be long gone before he got back. If he was here when I left, I wasn't sure I'd be able to go.

_Leaving is your only chance_, I reminded myself as I forced my arms to release my legs. I shakily got to my feet, glancing at myself in the bathroom mirror, _It's only chance._

I flashback for a moment to a week ago, before my life changed completely.

* * *

_I kicked my feet back and forth, sitting on the exam table. My hands were sweating and my heart racing. I couldn't be pregnant. The doctor would come back in and laugh, tell me everything was negative and that my missed periods must have been stress. But I'd been stressed before without missing two months._

_What would I do if I was pregnant? I was only 17 and the Dauntless don't exactly live a life that is pregnancy friendly. I'd be confined to the compound, unable to jump trains. I would have to watch my every step, too large to see my own feet. And my job as a trainer? Forget it. _

_Then another horrifying thought struck me. My Divergence and Tobias's as well. What if it was genetic? A Divergent child, growing up in Dauntless? They would be in constant danger. Since Tobias had told me he was Divergent too, it seemed almost impossible for a child of ours to not be Divergent._

_What would Tobias think? We were 17 and 19 and had never ever touched on the subject of children or marriage. But I know him better than anyone, and I know he wouldn't want a baby now. Neither did I, but if I was pregnant, could I really go through with an abortion?_

_The door opened and the doctor stepped in, "Hello, Miss. Prior. You're results were positive. It appears you are pregnant."_

* * *

I had been numb leaving that doctor's office. I'd skipped dinner that night and laid in bed , thinking. When Tobias came home, I'd lied.

* * *

_I heard the key in the lock and closed my eyes, hoping that maybe Tobias would just think I'd gone to sleep. I wasn't sure I would be able to speak to him now that I knew about the baby and I wasn't ready for him to know. _

_I heard his footsteps as he came into the bedroom. They stopped and I pictured him standing against the door frame, watching me the way he does sometimes. "Tris? You up?"_

_I swallowed. I could stay still and not answer but he'd know better and that would just raise more questions. "Yeah, I'm up." I sat up, opening my eyes to look at him. _

_He gave me a look of concern and came to sit on the bed next to me. "Are you okay? You missed dinner."_

_I opened my mouth. I could of told him everything right than and there. But I was too scared, I didn't deserve to be Dauntless. And so I smiled and nodded, "I'm fine, just tired. Long day at work, you know?"_

* * *

I'd spent the week after that night considering my options. I remembered Robert's word the year before, during my initiation. Abnegation would take me back, it would be selfish to hold a grudge and if I showed up pregnant and alone, they would be selflessly take me in. Then, I would have my mother and father's support and my baby would be much safer being Divergent in Abnegation.

I couldn't ask Tobias to come with me. He belonged here in Dauntless and he deserved to live in peace, away from Marcus. He was also 19 and should be able to live a life filled with more than dirty diapers and baby bottles. I couldn't tie him down, it wouldn't be fair. Therefore, I had to leave him behind.

I picked up my bag and felt my eyes burn. I swallowed hard. I wouldn't cry, I would leave Dauntless as strong as I had become here. Once I left, once I got to Abnegation, then I would be weak. Then I would cry.

I walked to the door and slide it open, closing and locking it behind me. I paused for a moment, resting my forehead on against the door. I closed my eyes and pictured a life where I didn't leave. I saw Tobias opening the very door I was now leaning on, saw a little girl run into his arms, giggling. Then I saw the little girl at the bottom of the chasm.

My eyes flashed open and I turned away from the apartment, starting toward the exit of the compound. I wondered how Tobias would feel when he ot home to find all of my things gone, me with them. I had considered leaving him a letter, but figured it wouldn't make a difference. He was bond to hate me either way.

My heart ached at the thought but I knew I had to do this. For Tobias and for myself and most importantly for the baby. I had to give this baby a good chance and this was the only way.

I was almost to the exit when I heard someone coming up behind me, "Tris?"

I turned to see Christina in the tunnel behind me, "Oh hey, Christina! What are you doing away from dinner?"

"I was going ask you the same thing. Four was looking for you, you know?" She asked, her eyes going to my bag, "Where are you going anyway?"

"Oh, just going to see a friend in Amity. I'll be back in an hour or two." I lied, shrugging.

Christina looked confused but nodded, "Oh, well, I'll see you tomorrow then. Bye, Tris!"

She turned and walked away. I waved and turned but toward the exit, running until I made it outside. And then I stopped and sobbed. I climbed onto the train and screamed at the top of my lungs. Life seemed so unfair and cruel in that moment.

Once I calmed down some, the train had gotten to the Abnegation sector. I realized that once I jumped off this train, there was no going back. I would never ride the train again because I would be Abnegation and they don't ride the train.

I bend my knees and I jump, saying goodbye to my Dauntless life and to Tobias forever.


	2. Chapter One

**I only own the unborn baby. I'm glad you guys liked the prologue. The first couple of chapters will be Tris's pregnancy and Natalie growing up, but then it will be her at 16 and all that stuff, so hold on. The growing up chapters will be told from Tris's point of view mostly, but also in third person and Natalie's.**

***Tris's Pov***

It was still strange. Calling my old house home again. I'd been here for months now, and yet, I still felt just as foreign here as I always have. Only now, I know I belong somewhere else and I just can't be there, before when I was young, I thought maybe I could fit in Dauntless, now I knew I did.

I sighed, going to my dresser, opening the last drawer and pulling out a black shirt. I hadn't fit any of my Dauntless clothes for weeks but couldn't bring myself to trash them either. There was only one article of Dauntless clothes that still fit and that was this black shirt, because it hadn't been mine. It was Tobias's.

I lifted the fabric to my face, breathing in his scent, closing my eyes. I pictured myself, in his arms again, without a care. The ever present ache in my chest seemed to sharpen at the thought.

I gasped slightly, my eyes flying open as I felt a small kick against the hand on my swollen stomach. I couldn't stop the small smile from spreading across my lips as a second kick followed the first. "You miss your daddy, too, don't you?" I whispered, running my thumb over the dull grey fabric of my Abnegation shirt.

As response, the baby gave another kick, this one more powerful than the first two. "Yeah, I do, too." I sighed, putting the shirt back n the drawer and closing it. I started counting on my fingers, trying to remember what day it was.

The tenth. So I was officially 7 months pregnant as of yesterday. Fear built up in my chest but I swallowed it down, breathing deeply. I'd left Dauntless almost five months ago, I'd seen Tobias last about five months ago.

Leaving my bedroom, I walked down the hall to what had been Caleb's room. His bed had been taken out, replaced with a plain wooden crib. His dresser emptied, than filled with grey onsies and other baby things. My mom had promised to get more clothes down from the attic once the baby was born, since I had decided not to find out the gender. She said she had my baby clothes and Caleb's, so either way we'd have enough.

I walked over to the crib, resting my hands on the side railing and looking down at the plain white sheets. "What do you think, baby? I know it's a pretty dull room, but at least you have it to yourself. No sharing."

The baby didn't seem to hear me or was just ignoring me, because they didn't move. I sighed, resting a hand on my stomach.

"Beatrice?"

I flinched, hating that I had to be called by my old name again. Turning my head, I gave my mother a small smile, "Yes?"

"Dinner's ready, if you'd like to join your father and me." She told me, before turning and leaving.

Part of me wanted to go back to my room and just sleep though dinner, but the part of me with a growling stomach simply wouldn't allow it. My father had been distant since my return, hardly speaking to me and basically ignoring the existence of my unborn baby.

My mother had welcomed me back with as open of arms as an Abnegation woman could. She hadn't questioned me or pushed for information, but I gave it to her anyways. On a day when my dad was out and it was just the two of us, I had told her everything. She had given me a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.

I had told her who the father was and my reason's for leaving him behind, even including the information about my Divergence and Marcus's abuse. It had been a relief to finally have someone understand my situation completely. I had no problem being around her at meals, it was my father and his judgmental eyes I had trouble with.

Going to the dining room, I sat at my spot at the table. The plain meals of Abnegation were so boring when compared to the food of the Dauntless, but I try not to think of that as I start on my chicken.

My mother gave me a nod before turning to look at my father, "How was your day?"

My dad's eyes landed on me. "Bad for me, worse for poor Marcus. His hellion son showed up today, demanding Marcus use his connections in government to track down his girlfriend. Apparently, she left without explanation about five months ago. Marcus told him that he wished he could help, but he couldn't ask the other faction leaders to search their people for one runaway girl."

I swallowed, tears burning in my eyes. Tobias was looking for me? And was desperate enough to ask his abusive father for help? Guilt and shame run though me, my eyes falling to my plate, my appetite gone.

"Finally, Marcus asked what the girl's name was anyway." I could feel my father's eyes on me. "And you know what that blood traitor said? Tris Prior. Tris as in short of Beatrice, I'm guessing? Is Tobias Eaton really the father of your child, Beatrice?"

I shrugged, playing with the food on my plate. I felt like a scolded child again, just as I had many times before at this very table.

"Answer me, Beatrice." My father snapped.

"Andrew, please, does it really matter? She left him months ago. She's going to raise the baby Abnegation and that's what counts, right?" My mother asked, quietly and calmly.

"Don't you understand, Natalie? Marcus said that Tobias was deranged. That he was almost mentally ill after the death of his mother. What if Beatrice's stupidity effects her child's life because Tobias finds them? I heard he was even violent at times. What if he does find Beatrice and the child? He could hurt them." My father snapped.

I couldn't take it anymore. Standing, I crossed my arms over my chest, "Stop it! Don't ever speak about him like that again, understand? You don't know anything about Tobias and you never will. I will say that yes, he is the father of this baby. I left him because he deserved a better life than being a young father, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't have been a better dad than Marcus ever was to him." With that I left the room, going back up stairs to my baby's nursery.


	3. Chapter Two

**I only own Baby Natalie. Now, I never written anything like this so, I'm sorry if it sucks.**

***Tris's POV***

My mother walked next to me down the cracked sidewalk of the factionless sector of town. We each carried baskets filled with blankets and food, ready to be giving to anyone who needed them. This job wasn't nearly as fun or exhilarating as my old training one, but I had no right to complain.

I bit my lip as a sharp ache ran down my back. I'd woken up to these cramps and had asked my mother about them. She had said that they could be false alarms or real contractions, even though I wasn't due for another two weeks. She said to time the distance between them and tell her when they were seven minutes apart.

That was only ten minutes. I swallowed, nervously. I'd been waiting for this day for months, wondering what it would be like to give birth. Now, it seemed I was about to find out.

Soon, the contractions were only seven minutes apart and much more painful than they'd been when they started. I found my mother helping a factionless woman and went to her. "They're seven minutes apart." I told her.

She nodded and gave the factionless woman a small smile. "Okay, well, than we'd better take a bus to the hospital."

* * *

Pain. Aching, wrenching, horrid pain. It hit me like waves, swelling up and engulfing me like the ocean. I bit my lip and curled my toes as another contraction hit me, hard throughout my body. "Mom." I gasped, extending my arm.

My mother took my hand, rubbing her thumb over my skin the way Tobias should have in that moment. "It's almost over, just breathe, Beatrice."

I squeezed my eyes shut and groaned, trying to catch my breath through the aching. I felt tears burn behind my eyes and used my free hand to cover my face as the pain started to fade. Even as the contraction pain went away, I was swallowed by the sharp ache in my chest.

Tobias should be here. I should be in the Dauntless infirmary. So many things had gotten screwed up in the last couple of months, it was hard to believe I had survived it all. Now, I just had to get though this. Then, maybe it would all be worth it.

"Oh god!" I sobbed as another contraction built up. It seemed impossible to get though. Worse than being shot, made even worse by the heartache in my chest. I saw my mother's expression of sympathy and wanted to scream.

"Okay, Miss. Prior, why don't we see if it's time to get this baby out?" An Amity doctor said, coming into my room smiling. She checked me as the contraction ended and nodded, "Looks like it's time to push, are you ready, Beatrice?"

For the first time since I got here, fear filled me. Was I ready? Hell no. I had no clue how to be a mother. And I didn't have Tobias to help me. What if a royally screwed this child up and they turned out bad? What if despite all this, the child still ended up dead somewhere? But it didn't matter, because before I could answer, another contraction hit.

"Okay, breathe and push. Push, Beatrice." The doctor's voice was calm and my mother's hand in mine was somewhat comforting. I clenched my teeth and closed my eyes, screaming though my teeth as I pushed.

It was worse than the contractions alone. It felt like ripping and tearing and the pain was dizzying, so massive that it felt impossible to face. Still, I pushed, trying to think about Tobias. I would be strong for him, I would deliver this baby for him, protect it for him. I would.

"Relax, breathe." The doctor instructed.

My mom ran her fingers through my sweaty hair, smiling at me, "It'll be over soon. Just a few more pushes. You'll be okay, Beatrice. I promise."

"Push!" I screamed but did as I was told, shrieking until I ran out of breath and the shrieking turned to sobs, pathetic and gut wrenching sobs. Never had I felt so weak, not even during initiation after Peter attacked me. It felt like this baby wasn't even born yet and I was already failing it. "Okay, Beatrice, the baby's crowing. Just a few more pushes."

I pushed again what seemed like seconds later, feeling like I dying, wishing I was. This pain had to end, soon. I couldn't take it any more, couldn't bear the weight of it a second longer. The doctor shouted something to me again, but I was too encased, engulfed in the pain.

Gathering all my breath, I pushed once more, screaming as I did. It hurt so badly it seemed to take my breath away, but I didn't need it. As I pushed, I felt a great release and then the pain was gone, replaced by a very manageable, dull ache.

In the chaos, I had felt deaf, unable to hear over my own pain, but now my ear opened, the first sound I heard was a great, helpless cry. It was loud and piercing and strong. Tears filled my eyes as I sat up, blinking away my blurred vision to find the source of the crying.

The Amity doctor reached over, carefully handing me the squirming infant, "Congratulations, it's a beautiful baby girl."

I sobbed again, a smile of awe on my lips now. She was gorgeous, utterly stunning. I wrapped the blanket around her, taking it her warmth and her clenched fists. "Shh, it's okay." I comforted her, my voice shaking, "It's okay, I'm here. Nothings gonna happen to you, I promise."

She quieted down after a while, falling asleep in my arms. For the first time since I first saw her, I peel my eyes away to look up at my mother. She smiled down at her granddaughter, rubbing my shoulder, "I'm so proud of you, Beatrice. You were so brave." She whispered, knowing it was the best compliment she could give me.

My eyes go back to my daughter, sound asleep. She already had a head full of short hair. I absentmindedly think if Tobias had hair when he was born, since I remember my mother telling me I was bald the first six months of my life. Her hair is dark, like his was when he let it grow out. Her small eyelids flutter and I wonder what someone so small and new could possibly be dreaming about. Whatever it is, I hope it's nice.

"What's her name?" My mother asked, taking my attention from my child again, briefly.

"Natalie." I smiled down at the sleeping infant than grin up at my mom. "Natalie Dare Eaton."

My mother smiles back at me, "I think that's a wonderful name."


	4. Chapter Three

**Okay, so now, Natalie will be either a baby, toddler, or little girl for a while. I only own Natalie.**

***Tris's POV***

Maybe it was stupid to give Natalie the Eaton last name. I had wanted her to know where she came from when she grew up and wanted her to have whatever small piece of Tobias that she could. But Eaton wasn't just Tobias's last name. It was also Marcus's.

If Marcus had wondered about weather or not his son had fathered my baby, his suspicions were confirmed the second that last name was written on my daughter's birth certificate. And he came knocking about a month after she was born.

My mother had returned to work a week after Natalie was born, saying I was natural and would do fine on my own. My father barely addressed me, let alone my daughter, and so he was also at work, having left without saying goodbye.

I sighed, laying Natalie in her crib. She fussed for a moment but I placed her pacifier between her lips and she calmed down, closing her dark blue eyes. Another trait she'd inherited from her father.

Downstairs, I heard a knock at the door and winced, looking down at Natalie. Amazingly, her eyes stayed shut, her chest slowly rising and falling in her sleep. Hurriedly, I left the nursery, closing the door behind me and went down the stairs. Opening the door, I froze, seeing Marcus on the steps outside.

"Beatrice." He nodded, glancing over my shoulder.

"Marcus, what can I do for you?" I asked.

"May I come in?" He asked, eyebrows raised. I noticed how cold his dark blue eyes were in comparison to those of his son and granddaughter.

I bit my lip, "I'm not sure that would be a good idea. I just put my baby down for her nap."

"You mean my granddaughter?" He questioned, his tone harsh. I didn't answer, just stared back into those cold eyes. He had no right to claim Natalie as his. She was mine, mine and Tobias's alone. Scum like Marcus would simply not be allowed to call her "his" anything, not after what he did to his own son. "So, she is Tobias's, than? Does he even know?"

Again, I didn't answer, I don't own him any responses.

"Now, that's cruel. Hiding a child from it's own father? You realize how selfish you are, Beatrice? I would like to see my grandchild. Just this once. If you let me see her, I won't tell Tobias a thing." He shrugged, "If you don't, well, he is still looking for you, you know. I could tell him where you are and then he'd be bound to stumble on young Natalie, wouldn't he?"

I swallowed, debating my options. What was the harm in letting Marcus see her this once? She'd be to young to remember him later and it would hopefully get rid of him for good. Moving aside, I let Marcus in, closing the door behind him. "She's asleep, so please." I gestured for him to stay quiet as I lead him upstairs to the nursery.

Opening the door, I walked to the crib, looking down at my gorgeous, sleeping baby. Not to the first time, I tried to figure out how she got to be so insanely pretty. Neither Tobias nor I are particularly attractive. I mean, we're not ugly and Tobias is much more attractive than I am, but still Natalie is breathtaking.

"My, my, my," Marcus whispered, his eye trailing over her fragile form, "You are in trouble Beatrice. Anyone with eyes and a brain would be able to see who this little girl's father is. The only way you can keep your secret is if you get luck and never stumble upon any old Dauntless friends."

I swallowed, lowering a hand down into the crib, lightly resting it on Natalie's stomach, feeling her breathing under my palm. Marcus was right, of course. She had his eyes, his hair, his skin tone, and his nose. My lips and my hands, but that was basically it.

"You know, she looks just like he did when he was a baby." Marcus said, his voice low. I look across the crib at him and for a moment, I see a look of what could only be love. But how could this man before me love his child when he beat him? I can never imagine hurting Natalie, no matter what wrong she committed.

"I think you should go." I whispered, walking around the crib and resting a hand on Marcus's shoulder.

He nodded and turned, leaving the nursery. Again, I followed him, closing the door behind me. "You saw her, now you need to leave. She's mine and Tobias's, you have no right to her and I don't want you around her, understand?" I asked him, staring in to his eyes.

"I understand." He glared at me but turned, going down the stairs. Seconds later, I heard the front door close behind him. Breathing easily, I ran my fingers though my hair, leaning against the wall.

I would protect Natalie from Marcus, even if it meant the truth about her came out. Would it be so bad if Tobias found out about Natalie? Maybe he wouldn't be able to forgive me for leaving and lying but he would still love her, right? She was his daughter, too.

I shook my head, going to my bedroom to lie down. I couldn't risk it. All odds said Natalie would be Divergent and if I was scared before I gave birth, I was now terrified of loosing my little girl. I would die if anything happened to her.

Laying in my bed and stretched out, yawning. Sleep was something I was learning to get when ever it was possible. Natalie was a mostly quiet, thoughtful baby, but that didn't stop her from waking me up every four hours all night long. Quiet and thoughtful, god, why did she have to be so much like him?


	5. Chapter Four

**This is basically a collection of stories from Natalie's childhood. I only own Natalie.**

***Tris's POV***

_First Word ~ 11 Months old_

"Thanks again, Susan. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you to watch her. I need to work, but, I miss her, you know." I said, leading my friend to the front door.

"Please, Beatrice, it's my pleasure. She's a very sweet child, you're lucky." Susan smiled and left, closing the door behind her. I sighed, wiping my hands on my baggy, gray pants. Going to the living room, I picked my daughter up off the floor, sitting on the couch with her on my lap.

"Hi, Natalie, how was your day?" I asked her, smiling. She giggled and clapped her hand lightly against my cheek. "It's almost time for you to take your bath, missy." I said, getting up. "Let's get you some clothes."

I took her up to my room, setting her on the bed. I opened the top drawer of my dresser and pulled out a pair of pajamas. Gray and over sized, mine from my childhood, now handed down to my daughter.

"Dada." I paused, listening closely to my daughter's babbling behind me. There was no way I heard what I just had. It wasn't possible. Slowly, I turned around to find Natalie sitting on the bed, holding a picture frame in her hands. I kept the picture under my pillow. It was the only picture I had of Tobias. I'd spent every night for the last 11 months showing it to Natalie so she would know her father.

She smiled down at the photograph, "Dada."

I gasped, putting a hand to my chest, trying not to cry. The pain that always lived in my chest flared. I missed Tobias so much. And now, it would be worse, because Natalie was bound to repeat her first word. As if she needed to remind me of him in any other way.

* * *

_First Steps- 14 Months old_

"Beatrice, you can't just leave your job! You have a responsibility to the community and it was selfish for you to just leave!" My father snapped at me as I filled Natalie's sippy cup with juice. Grape, her favorite and the only flavor that will settle her stomach.

"I didn't have a choice, dad! Natalie had a hundred and one fever! I have more of a responsibility to her as her mother than I do to the community." I screwed the lid onto the sippy cup, turning to leave but pausing, "You know, you came right home to yell at me, but you haven't even asked how your granddaughter is? She's fine by the way, her fever broke about hour ago!" I snapped, going to the living room, where Natalie sat on the floor.

I handed her the juice and kissed her now normally warm forehead. Sitting on the couch, I rested my face in my hand, trying not to cry. Today was the first Natalie had ever gotten really, fevered sick. It had been terrifying. She hadn't stopped crying for hours and I had to force fed her medicine to lower the fever. Now, she seemed perfectly fine, but it was still scary.

I felt a light tap on my knee and looked to see that my daughter had not only stood up from her spot on the floor alone, but also walked over to me and was now leaning against my knee, lightly tapping it, like a reminder that I was not alone, she was there.

It took me a second, but I gasped, lifting her up, "You walked! Baby, you walked! Oh, I'm so proud of you!"

She giggled and smiled at me, patting my cheek now, "Mama."

* * *

_First Major Nightmare- 4 years old_

I rolled over, sighing.

"Momma!" I heard an urgent whisper and a tug on my arm. My eyes flashed open and I sat up, looking around. There, in the dark with tears in her eyes, stood my daughter. Her long, dark hair was down for her to sleep, falling in curls to her shoulder blades. Her dark blue eyes, wide with fear. "Momma, I had a nightmare." She whimpered.

"Oh, come here." I muttered, tiredly. Natalie climbed up on to my bed, snuggling into my embrace, facing me, sharing my pillow as I laid back. "Tell me what your nightmare was about."

"I was playing outside and fell into a box. Then the box closed, momma! I was stuck and I screamed for you, but you didn't come. I didn't like the box, momma, not at all!" She started to sound frantic so I shh'd her and hugged her close, running my fingers though her hair.

"It was just a dream, baby. You're safe now. Nothings gonna happen to you with me around." I kissed her forehead, "Now, go to sleep. I love you."

"Love you too." She mumbled, sounding exhausted.

I wonder what other fears she inherited from Tobias and me.

* * *

_First Lie - 6 years old_

"Mom?" Natalie looked up at me from her homework at the dinning room table.

"Yes?" I asked, cutting a piece of chicken in half to be the right potion for Natalie.

"Why don't I have a dad?" I froze at the question. I'd been waiting years for her to ask, and yet still wasn't prepared when she finally did it. After her first word, I had stopped showing her the picture of Tobias and had stopped talking about him, but she would've been to young to remember before that.

What I told her now was what she would believe. I could lie. I could be honest. "You're dad had to go before you were born." There, not so much a lie but not the whole truth.

"Did he die?" She asked, head cocked to the side.

My thought tightened. A lie now would probably save me painful conversations later, but if Natalie ever found out the truth, would she forgive me? "Yes, he died protecting us from the bad guys. Outside of the fence."


	6. Chapter Five

**Okay, so here is the first look at Natalie as a teenager. She's not sixteen yet but it is her point of view.**

***Natalie's POV* *Age 14***

I took a deep breath, breathing in and out, carefully. It was dark outside and all the lights in the city seemed to be out. For all I knew, I was the only soul awake in the dark. A chilled breeze rushes over me, causing a shiver to go up my spine.

Breathing carefully again, I glanced down at my hand, turning the throwing knife over and over in my palm. Breathe in, stare at the old, crumbling wood fence, breathe out, throw the knife, hard as possible. I smiled, hearing the gratifying slamming noise as the blade stuck into the wood.

Looking around, I walked over to the fence, wrenching the knife out of the fence. If I were caught here, in the dead of night, I would be in so much trouble. It was selfish and foolish to be throwing knives as an Abnegation.

_But I don't belong here, _I thought, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. Abnegation was were I was born and raised, so why do I only feel at home when I sneak out to do things like this? I cringed, picturing my mother's face if she were to ever find out about my nightly activities.

Sliding the knife into my pocket, I started running home. Hours pass in seconds when I practice my throwing, so even though I felt like I just got here, I knew it was probably already 4 in the morning.

Getting to the Abnegation part of town, I slowed to a walk. Running is fun for me, therefore self-indulgent and prohibited. Pausing, I looked around, feeling as if someone was watching me. I thought I saw a curtain drop in one of the windows of the house to my left but shook it off. No one would be up this late... Or early depending on how you look at it.

Once I got to my house, I stopped to look around again. Carefully, I slipped the door open and shut it silently behind me. Thanking god for the billionth time, I climbed the not-at-all creaky stairs and went to my room.

I stopped, looking at my faint reflection in the window across my room. I'd taken my hair down to sleep, so it fell to my mid-back, dark and curly. My eyes had dark circles under them from my late nights, but were still the same strange blue they always were. I look nothing like my mother, which makes me wonder if I get my looks from my father. Not that I have the guts to ask.

My mother always gets icy and cold when I bring up my dad. She only says that he died and that he would've been proud of me. And then she holes up and refuses to answer any questions, usually scolding me for my self-indulgent curiosity. I sighed, shaking my head and stepping out of my shoes.

Laying down, I rested my head on my pillow, thinking for a moment about my father. My mom always said he died protecting us from the things beyond the fence, but why would an Abnegation be protecting anything? That was a Dauntless job. Could my father have been Dauntless?

No, I shook my head at my own stupidity, that was impossible. People only have relationships and children with people from there own faction. My mother was Abnegation, therefore so was my father. I snorted, trying to picture my quiet, selfless mother with a rowdy, tattooed and pierced man. Yeah, not possible.

After a while, I fell asleep, dreaming about nothing.

* * *

The next day, I came home from school to find my mom standing in my room. I set my bookbag down on the floor next to my door, watching her, curiously. "Mom? What are you doing in here?"

She turned to look at me, almost like she was surprised to find me in the room with her. "I came in to get your laundry. I picked up a pair of pants and I found this." She pulled her hands from behind her back, bring out my throwing knife. I felt my stomach drop and my throat clench. This wasn't happening. "Natalie, where did you get this?"

I looked at my feet, staying silent.

"Natalie Eaton, where did you get this throwing knife!?" She asked, her voice louder than before. I flinched and swallowed, keeping my eyes on my sneakers.

"I borrowed it." I mumbled, fidgeting with the hem of my shirt.

"Borrowed it?" She asked, "And tell me, did you ever intend to return it?"

I shrugged.

"So you stole it?! Do you realize how selfish that is? And why do you need a throwing knife? What did you do with this, Natalie?" She asked, a hint of desperation in her voice. My eyes glanced up at her for a moment, then back at my feet. She looked shocked and scared. I didn't understand.

"I just wanted to know what it felt like." I muttered, too low for her to hear.

"Excuse me?" Mom asked, stepping closer.

I repeated myself, louder.

"What what felt like?" She asked, sounding desperate and confused.

"Being Dauntless." I whispered, looking up at her carefully.

Any anger on her features disappeared, replaced by an expression I couldn't place. It was almost like guilt or understanding mixed together. I'd never seen that look on my mother's face. She sighed, looking out of my window, crossing her arms.

Finally, she turned back to me. "I'm taking this and I don't ever want to hear about you doing something like this again, do you understand me?"

I nodded, feeling numb.

As my mother passed me, she stopped, "Being Dauntless isn't about what you do. It's about who you are."

Then she was gone.

My eyebrows drew together. What did my mother know about being Dauntless?

* * *

***Tris's POV***

I walked downstairs to find my mother in the kitchen, preparing dinner. I sighed, coming to stand next to her, setting the throwing knife on the counter between us. My mom stopped, looking up at me curiously. "It's Natalie's. I found it in her room."

"Where did she get it?" Mom asked, eyebrows raised.

"She stole it." I sighed, running my fingers though my hair. "She said she wanted to know what being Dauntless felt like. I swear, it's like she knows. She can't but it's like she does anyway."

Mom shrugged, "She's your daughter, Beatrice, and as much as you like to pretend otherwise, you are Dauntless. And so is her father. It's in her blood, her instincts. This is were you have to let go and trust her to make the right decision for her. She chooses in two years."

"I can't protect her if she's in Dauntless." I reminded my mother.

She smiled at me, "I know how you feel, honey. Probably better than anyone else. I had a daughter I couldn't protect too. She turned out just fine. Natalie will be okay. Don't be too hard on her just because she's being herself."

I sighed, knowing my mother was right.


	7. Chapter Six

**Okay, here it is. Natalie's aptitude test and the real beginning of the story.**

***Natalie's POV***

I like to watch people. Not in a creepy way, but more as a way of observing. It's actually pretty interesting, believe it or not. I was in the cafeteria, waiting to be tested for my aptitude test, surrounded by tons of other teenagers.

The Amity, so peaceful and kind, are talking excitedly and playing games. The Erudite are reading and studying, doing homework that will probably never get turned in. The Candor are arguing, being loud enough to give headaches and opinionated enough to get hit. The Dauntless are laughing, seemingly all so at ease, they don't scare easy and they want everyone to know it.

I sit with the Abnegation, as I'm supposed to. All my fellow faction members are quiet, too selfless for gossip and self discussion. Next to me, is Emily. She's the closest thing I probably have to a friend. But unlike me, she was born for Abnegation. I just don't fit the mold.

A boy from the Dauntless table turns his gaze away from his friends, looking across the cafeteria, right at me. My eyebrows draw together and I look down at my table. Normally, people don't notice me watching them. Normally, people don't notice Abnegation, period. Glancing up, I find him still watching me, a smirk on his face.

"Natalie Eaton and Emily Conners" Emily and I rise, walking toward the testing rooms. I feel the boy's eyes on me, my whole way across the cafeteria. Emily gives me a smile of good luck before we separate, going into the rooms assigned to us.

I freeze, shocked to see my own reflection watching me from all sides. I'm not allowed to look at myself like this, it's selfish. On one side of the room is a Dauntless woman, leaning over a machine, not even glancing up at me. "Sit."

I do, feeling uncomfortable in the chair. It reminds me of the times my mother dug me to the dentist 'for my own good'. The Dauntless woman stands up straight, starting to untangle a bunch of wires. I swallow and try to focus on something else, like her. She had dark skin and short, brown hair. She's very pretty and not crazily tattooed and pierced. Tame for Dauntless.

Finally, her eyes find mine and she almost stumbles, freezing. Suddenly, I'm very aware of my reflection. As far as I can see, I look fine, so why she's she staring at me with that shocked expression. "What's your name again?"

"Natalie." I answered, "Natalie Eaton."

"I'm Christina. Eaton? Like the political leader? Marcus or something like that? Related to him?" She asked, going back to her machine.

"I don't know." I muttered, "It's just me and my mom and her parents."

Christina nodded, "Oh, you just look a lot like someone I know. But he's Dauntless and you're not, so you wouldn't know him."

I nodded as Christina hooked up the now untangled wires and handed me a vial of liquid. "Drink up, kiddo."

Examining the liquid, the last thing I want to do is drink it, but I still tip the glass back into my mouth. I blink and suddenly, I'm not in the text room anymore, but the cafeteria, now empty. "Choose."

I look at the two baskets in front of me. Cheese and a knife. The knife calls to me, whispering temptingly in my ear that it would be so much more helpful facing whatever was to come. The cheese is unappealing to me but I can't help but feel like I should take it. "Choose!" The voice is stronger now.

Gulping, I step forward, picking up the knife in my hand. It feels heavy and yet familiar and right in my palm. The baskets disappear and there is a dog there in front of me, growling. It is vicious and I can smell it's terrible breath from here. The blade in my hand suddenly feels too powerful for me too hold, too dangerous. I don't want to kill the dog.

I looked at the dog's feet, remembering that it is threatening to look it in the eyes. How do I get out of killing the beast, though? It growls, menacingly and I feel sick to my stomach. Then I remember the sign of submission and sink, slowly to my knees, then bowing, getting as low as possible.

The growling stops and I feel a wet nose, nudge my arm. Slowly, I raised my head and smiled at the dog, now tame. Now, I feel very glad I chose not to use the knife, still in my hand. Getting up, I pet the dog's big head, laughing a bit. "Puppy!" I heard someone squeal.

Across the room, a little girl in a dress stood, grinning. The dog growled, turning and crouching, ready to pounce. Without thinking, without considering any other option, I thrust my hand out, throwing the knife as I had so many times before in the dead of night. It hit the dog right in it's head, exactly where I'd aimed.

Blinking, the scene changed again. I was on the bus, holding onto the metal bar in the center, waiting for my stop, wherever that was. A man holding a newspaper was watching me. "Excuse me, miss?" I looked over at him, eyebrows raised. "Do you know this man?"

I looked at the picture the man was showing me. My eyebrows came together. Yes, I knew him, didn't I? I glanced up at the man with the paper and shrugged. I had the feeling I shouldn't publicly announce that I knew the guy.

"Do you know him?" The guy snapped.

I shook me head, "No, I don't think so."

"You're lying!" He hissed angrily.

"I am not!" I snapped back, glaring.

"Yes, yes you are!" He roared, standing.

"Prove it." I said, standing up tall.

Then the man was gone and I was sitting in that terrible chair again. Christina's eyebrows were drawn together, a look of forced casualty on her face. I can always tell when that look is forced. I've seen the expression on my own mother's face too many times to count.

"That was interesting. One second, I'll be right back."


	8. Chapter Seven

**So we got Christina last chapter and this one! Crazy, I know. I only own Natalie.**

***Natalie's POV***

When Christina came back, she closed the door behind her, jiggling it to make sure it was shut. Then she turned to me, looking me over. "I've only ever heard about people like you. I didn't believe they truly existed. But here you are."

"People like me?" I asked, confused.

"Divergent." She whispered the word like it was a curse.

I knew that word, didn't I? It sent a shock of familiarity though me but I couldn't remember where I'd heard it before or what it meant. "I'm what?"

"Divergent. It means you don't fit into one faction, you can't be just one thing." Christina explained, "You have equal aptitude for Dauntless, Abnegation, and Erudite. It's extremely dangerous. Don't tell anyone what you are, understand? Don't say anything ever to anyone. Now, go, it'll look suspicious if you're here too long."

I got up, walking toward the door. Christina grabbed my arm, "Be careful, Natalie Eaton."

Then she let me go, and I walked back to the cafeteria, silently rejoining the Abnegation. Divergent. What was I going to do now? My family is all Abnegation, yet I've never truly belonged. I've known that since I was a little girl. Dauntless had called to me ever since I first heard about them. Brave and daring and exciting, it screamed for my attention. My middle name is literary Dare.

Feeling the prickle on the back of my neck and looked around, trying the find the source. There he was. The Dauntless boy from before was watching me again. He raised his eyebrows to me and I looked around making sure he wasn't gesturing to anyone else. Turning back to him, I shrugged, tucking a piece of hair that had falling from my bun behind my ear. He smiled and nodded.

"From Dauntless, Maya and Hunter Levesque"

The boy got up, his eyes on me until he turned and walked towards the testing rooms. Curiosity bloomed in my chest. Why was he suddenly so interested in me? The girl who got up with him must have been his sister, as her long hair was the same color as him and she playfully shoved him as they walked. Hunter Levesque, why are you watching me? I wondered.

After almost a half an hour, the boy, Hunter, returned. He looked at ease and for a moment I envied him. Not only did he seem sure of his choice for tomorrow but, he seemed guilt free of making it. What would my mother think if I where to pick Dauntless? As far as I could tell, my mom nearly hated the Dauntless, or at least avoided them like the plague. Would I still be her daughter if I chose the join them?

Aptitude test or not, I couldn't stay here in Abnegation. I stuck out here like a sore thumb. Glancing at the Dauntless table, I found Hunter's eyes on me again. This time, I didn't shy away or gesture, I simply stared back at him. His easy smirk fell away after a moment and he left his face as blank as mine, watching me back. Maybe, just maybe, I fit into Dauntless the way this boy did. Only he was born in the right place and I was not.

We were dismissed and I got up with the rest of the Abnegation, starting toward the door to leave. "Natalie!" I froze and Emily who was next to me turned around with me, our eyes both landing on Hunter Levesque, who was behind us.

"May I help you?" I answered, using a scripted Abnegation response that had been drilled into my brain over the years.

"I'm Hunter." He held out his hand in greeting. I glanced at Emily, who shrugged and smiled politely at Hunter. I knew handshaking was a Dauntless greeting, I knew it would somehow be seen as selfish to respond, but I did anyway, grabbing his hand and shaking it equal to him. He grinned, Emily frowned. "I was wondering if I could walk with you."

"We wouldn't want to trouble you." Emily responded for me, her eyes on mine, silently scolding.

"But since you offered," I started, hating the feeling of being reprimided. "Why not?"

Hunter chuckled and looked down, shaking his head, "Thanks."

"Well, I have to stay after school actually. To help my mother with the cleaning up of the aptitude tests. I'll see you tomorrow, Natalie." Emily gave me a look before turning and walking back down the hall to the cafeteria. Rolling my eyes, I turned to Hunter.

"Sorry about her, she takes Abnegation customs very seriously." I explained, pushing a lock of hair behind my ear, it had slipped from my tight knot.

"And you don't?" Hunter asked, walking with me down the hall. I shrugged.

"Honestly?" I started, looking at my feet, "I'm not very good at remembering all of them. Too many rules to follow."

"Hmm." Was all he responded. I waited till we were outside before asking, not wanting him to think me selfish because of my curiosity.

"Why did you want to walk with me, anyway?" Hunter looked over at me. He was about half a foot taller than me. I'm not as short as my mother, but I'm not tall either, falling right in the middle at average height. Hunter was tall.

"Because, I've noticed something about you." He finally answered, after thinking over his response.

"Noticed what?" I asked, suddenly feeling like the word Divergent was stamped over my face.

"You," He thought, kicking some rocks in his path, "You're not like the other Abnegation. Not in a bad way, or anything, but I just noticed that you don't really fit in. And I think you know that."

"Are you trying to recruit Dauntless or something?" I asked, bitterly. What right did he have, to point out the obviousness of my misfit behavior?

Hunter laughed, "No, nothing like that. It's just," He stopped, turning to me and I stopped as well, looking into his eyes. They were the color of the great forests I'd only ever seen in pictures. Beautiful and piecing green. "It's just that I feel like you could belong somewhere else and I felt like maybe you needed someone to tell you that. Maybe it's not Dauntless, but it's somewhere and you should know it's okay to find where you belong."

I felt shocked. This boy was so perceptive, I had to roam over him with my eyes once more, to make sure he wore Dauntless black and not Erudite blue. He was right, of course, but it felt wrong to give him the satisfaction of knowing me so well just from observing. So I snapped, "I don't need you or anyone else telling me what I already now. Thank you for walking me, but I'm sure you have a train to catch."

Then I turned and left him behind, wondering how I could possibly turn my back on my own mother, even if it felt necessary for my mental health.


End file.
